Confessions Of A Drama Queen
by Phases Of Obsession
Summary: A character study/backstory explaining why Maureen is the way she is. Post-RENT


Hi! This is more of a character study than a fic. I just know there has to be more to Maureen. To me, she's a good person deep down, but I just wanted to figure out the reasons to her...well...bitchiness. So this is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy!

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"It all started when I was little. I never really was happy. I was never satisfied.

"Even as a two-year-old I'd be so freaking embarrassed whenever I'd mix up my numbers, or wet the bed. My parents were always saying, 'It's okay', but their eyes never meant it.

"Then, when I was five, me and my grandpa were in a wreak. He didn't make it, but I did...well, I guess that's kinda obvious. It put me in a coma for, like, eight days. They had to put most of my body in a cast, and I had to go to physical therapy for years. I still hurt like hell whenever bad weather comes in.

"And then there was that God-forsaken head brace. My jaw was literally shattered, so after putting who-knows-how-many pins and nails and staples and probably some glue in there just to hold it together, I had to wear this helmet-like thing that had this metal strap that held my mouth shut. I had to have nothing but liquids for five months! Then after most of my face got the terminator treatment they were able to down-size the damn thing. I still could hardly move but at least I could sleep in it.

"My parents thought it'd be a good idea to get me around other kids after being in the hospital for so long so they enrolled me in school. They must of forgotten how cruel people are. I got...tortured. 'Metal Mouth', 'Iron Jaw', 'Robo-Girl', I got them all. I remember getting my work done early so I could get out before everyone else and hide in the library.

"Those days spent reading in the corner of the childrens' section paid off. Pretty soon I was top of the class. The kids may have hated me but the teachers adored me. I was, to tell you the truth, a perfect student. I did my work quietly, didn't disrupt class, was respectful, everything they wanted.

"But me being perfect in that sense made it just that much worse when I screwed up. The look on my parents, my teachers faces were crushing. If I got anything less than an A, my mom and dad would just go, 'Oh', and carry on with their day. And my peers were probably the worst. While yes, they did ridicule me to no extent, they still respected me for my brain. Once, I got a B- and Jimmy Hawthorn looked over and announced it to the whole class. Even through High School they never let me forget that.

"The more I failed the harder I worked. I ended up skipping second and fourth grade. As a celebration for the latter my parents got me a puppy. He was sweet little boy with this brown spot on his face that made him look like he buried his head in chocolate. So that's what I named him: Choco. He was my best friend...hell, he was my only friend. I cannot tell you how many days we spent just hanging out in our backyard, me looking at the clouds and him getting a good belly rub. I trained him so that whenever my alarm clock went off, he'd jump up on my bed and lick my face. He was such a good dog.

"But then when I was in eighth grade, I went to the doctor to finally get part of my brace removed, when I got home I went out to see his reaction to me losing some of the metal. Right as I got out there I heard a gunshot and my little boy hit the ground. It was a sick prank by some douche who hated me, or at least that's what the police said. We took Choco to the vet but they couldn't...

"It was that moment that made me want to become an veterinarian, so no more doggies would have to be lost like that. My parents though...well, they were set on me doing something a little more...prestigious. Like becoming a scientist that discovers a cure to something, or winning a Nobel Prize, not checking to see if a Beagle had heartworms. But it was something I wanted to do, and damn it, they weren't gonna stop me.

"I joined a 4-H club and met my first people friend: Beth. She wanted to be a vet too. And she wasn't afraid of that last remaining strip of metal that was wrapped around my jaw. We hung out, studied together, got jobs to start saving for college together, just did everything together.

"Then, after nine God damn years of wearing it, I got the rest of the brace removed. I kinda-no-really liked the way I looked. Despite the injury, I was _hot_. Suddenly, it was like everyone noticed me. It was delicious.

"Also I noticed Beth started looking at me differently, and it wasn't long before things got really, really awkward. I got tired of it quickly, so I confronted her. She kissed me. I loved it.

"We kept our relationship secret until we were both in Senior year. Then my principal, a complete and utter homophobe, caught us kissing and called both of our parents. I don't know how bad Beth got it because, after that, I never saw or heard from her again. But me, ooh boy, my mom was mad. Dad, not too much, but Ma...Let's just say I've never seen a human turn that color.

"So then I started rebelling. Oddly, it felt right-doing the wrong thing. I started going out with both men and women, not caring about my grades, and writing graffiti on the walls. Then one time my teacher caught me slipping stink-bombs into another kid's locker so it was either suspension or I had to join the drama production. I chose the drama because if I got suspended one more time I think my mom would have exploded.

"I really thought I'd hate it, but, in fact, it was the opposite. The thrill of being on the stage, having all those people applaud for me, it was just incredible. So I changed all my college applications to Julliard and signed up for all the local amateur theater productions. My drama coach said I had a gift with my voice and with my presence and my acting. She said I'd win a Tony one day. Back then, I had no clue what that was but I went with it. My parents hated the idea of me being a performer, absolutely hated it. Which made me love it more.

"At one of shows I was in, I co-starred with this boy named Mark Cohen. We'd been going to school together since third grade, and he was one of the few that didn't make fun of me. Actually I think he was scared of me back in my robo-days. I'm rather grateful for that because he's never mentioned it; I don't even think he realized that that was me. Anyway, we did the show and found out we were graduating together. Him, his friend Roger, and I made plans to go to New York City. So it wasn't five minutes after they let us out of the ceremony thingy that we were on the road.

"NYC, was cruel, but wonderful. We spent my college money on getting an apartment in Alphabet City where we became roomies with this lovely guy named Collins and this hot jerk named Benny. I actually had a crush on both until Benny started dating this bitch and Collins took me to a gay bar.

"After that, me and Collins were best friends. I told him about the whole metal mouth thing and he told me he had HIV. It was rather hard learning that, but it gave me a new outlook on life. I needed to stop bitching and live. And use condoms.

"Somewhere along the line me and Mark started dating. I dunno...It felt more like a friendship with benefits than an relationship. Roger met a really nice girl called April and us three, and few of Roggy's buddies started a band. We were doing pretty well, until Roger and April found out they had HIV.

"It was like things just started tumbling down, one after another. April committed suicide, Roger started have withdrawals from the heroin, Collins progressed to AIDS, Benny got married and became a yuppie, and one night I just couldn't take it. So I got drunk out of my mind and woke up in another woman's bed.

"But that woman's _amazing_. She's kind, caring, beautiful. We started something, but I really felt stuff I just didn't feel with Mark. I dated both for a little while but it was getting hard. The night before I planned on breaking up with him, he caught me and Joanne making out. I didn't realize it until I got home and he confronted me. So I moved in with Joanne. Things were great, but Joanne's a little...sensitive. Yes, I flirt. It's like a sport to me. But I won't cheat on someone I love like I love her. I wish she'd just get that.

"And it seems like the last three months have been worse. I'm already having a hard enough time with Collins' death so I don't need her nagging me every two seconds! It's been so weird...After he died, I just...I don't know...It's like nothing's ever any fun anymore...I don't wanna do anything anymore...

"I just want the world to be right again."

"Good, you've gotten a lot out today," Dr. Mays, the community center's therapist said. "Now, we've ran out of time, so same time, same place?"

Maureen nodded and walked out. They said talking made it feel better.

Maureen knew that was bullshit.

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